Adventures closer to home

Here's the problem with being an intrepid travel writer. No intrepid travels, nothing to write about!

The biggest adventure I've had lately was a foray to the HUGE mall with Sierra on her birthday. We try to avoid that madhouse at all costs, but have been known to make an exception on "Mommy, can I have this? Day," also known as Sierra's birthday. A hundred ladies will fall all over you to give you a free make-over (didn't know you needed a make-over? Just go to Macy's!), but good luck finding a cashier so you can pay for something!

Yesterday's big adventure was getting my annual mammogram (hey, take care of the girls and they'll take care of you ... hopefully). Does anyone else feel compelled to smile and say "cheese" when you have a mammogram?

Oh and how can I forget the recent Waite family get-together on Cape Cod? All 22 of us - in our numbered t-shirts - had a fabulous time at the Lighthouse Inn, where the Einhorn Family was enjoying their own family reunion. We scoped out the competition, figured we could easily take them, and challenged them to a kite-flying competition. The Waites are natural athletes after all, and now, well, suffice it to say, Ellen Einhorn Zerkin now wears Waite t-shirt #23. There's talk of trading her back next year ... but only if the Einhorns beat us in the three-legged race.

Would have been better if it ran

After giving you my own in-depth evaluation of the Waite family not-so-bio-diesel oddysey to Minnesota, I decided to poll the rest of the family to see if they agreed with me, er, I mean to see what they think.

I was pleasantly surprised by John's overwhelmingly positive analysis. I would have thought that he, as the founder of the 'let's all shrink our carbon footprint by living in tents club,' would have deemed the whole trip and its attendant carbon emissions a huge failure. But he actually thought we accomplished some good things - namely getting the kids to the Baseball Hall of Fame, seeing Niagara Falls, prying Sierra off the internet and cell phone for hours at a time, and burning more than a few marshmallows around the campfire. "And," he added, "the indoor water park and Seneca Falls were unexpected gravy." I was surprised he hadn't mentioned the Jello Museum (which is still high on my list of highlights).

Sierra's reaction was typically low-key. When asked what she thought of the whole trip she replied, "Huh? What? Do I have to get off the computer again?" But did finally agree that it was "interesting." Her fondest memory is the day at the indoor water park.

But Jeremiah may have summed it up best. When asked his assessment of the whole RV adventure, he replied, "It was FUN. Would have been better if it ran."

I'll keep you posted,
Eve

The Post Mortem

Well, it took the biggest, baddest battery charger from Taylor Rent-A-Center, two extension cords, and three good samitarans in the (thankfully) very friendly town of Great Barrington to finally get the alum-a-womb going again. Once we got the motor going again, we didn't stop again until we parked it back in David's driveway - where it promptly died. Today we're home - unpacking, picking the kale, cucumbers and tomatoes (and even more weeds) that have ripened in my garden and evaluating our trip. (Oh, we overthink, I mean process EVERYTHING around here.)

So here is my warts-and-all evaluation of the success or failure of our trip:

Goal: Bring family out to Minnesota while not using fossil fuels.
Did we achieve this goal? Absolutely not. Next goal.
Well, okay: Bring family out to Minnesota while using as little fossil fuels as possible.
That's better. Did we achieve that? Well, John figured out that the alum-a-womb averaged 7.5 miles to the gallon of diesel. Okay, we get to stretch that because half the diesel we used was bio-diesel (made from old vegetable oil, so therefore not a fossil fuel, less polluting and No, it's not responsible for driving up the price of corn). So John figured that into the equation (thank God, that boy loves math), and we still average only 12.5 miles to the gallon. Yeah, still nothing to brag about. Ah, but the good news is that we got 23 miles to the gallon once we ditched the RV and rented the mini-van. But of course that's burning regular old gas with all of its environmental impacts and unsustainability and that's what we were trying to avoid in the first place. So. we were a big fat failure on Goal #1. Well, wait a minute, I'm gonna give us half credit on this one. We did get the family out to Minnesota.

Okay, but as any good researcher knows, if you fail miserably on your original goal, what you have to do is revise your goal.

Goal #2: Have a fun vacation with some quality family time.
I would have to say we did much better on this goal. The alum-a-womb inspired LOTS of laughter (and I don't just mean from the little old ladies who zipped by us on the roads. Even Sierra's elusive laughter was heard. And we certainly spent LOTS of quality time together (all that slow driving and time spent stuck in parking lots waiting for a jump, and then of course, there was that lovely Ford Service Center. Well, you get the picture.) And everyone in the family got to do what s/he really loved. John got to drive - and read maps, calculate gas mileage, talk on the phone - usually simultaneously, which he does love. I got to sleep while John did all the driving. Jeremiah got to play endless video games while John did all the driving (oh, and he got to buy gumballs at vending machines in at least six states and two countries!). And Sierra plowed through an entire four-book teenage vampire epic, and eat nothing but junk food, while John did all the driving.

Now of course for John and I, everything has to have some redeeming value. Surprisingly enough, no one asked us to dig them a latrine or donate blood along the way. But we did get to tell a lot of people about bio-diesel and the importance of figuring out a way to drive across country without burning fossil fuels. This conversation happened a lot, really. Whenever anyone asked why in the world we would rent a 24 year old motorhome in the first place.

Well, that's my assessment. I'm going to poll the rest of the family and tomorrow, I'll bring you their reviews.

I'll keep you posted,
Eve

On waking up in a parking lot

... it's not as comfy cozy as you might think. Certainly doesn't encourage one to sleep in. So we're up earlier than we have been in awhile. In fact, I've been up since 4AM beating myself up (mentally only, it's way too close quarters in the alum-a-womb for any actual flogging) for suggesting we stop for dinner at the way overpriced restaurant in Great Barrington, thus shutting off the iffy engine and thus getting us stuck in a parking lot for the night. Not to mention the way overpriced dinner (Did I mention that already? The sushi was superb, but I'm sorry, for that price they should have offered us overnight accommodations AND breakfast in the morning!).

But Jeremiah says this just might be the best campground we've stayed in so far! We ended up parking beside a walking trail and a rushing river, we woke up this morning and walked to a lovely town and had a great breakfast and best of all, we had Wi-Fi all night (well, at least as long as our battery power lasted). So not so much harm done, after all.

We might just make it home.

I'll keep you posted,
Eve

Parking Lot sweet Parking Lot

We're finally getting to spend the night in a parking lot - the consummate RV experience! Long story short: the battery died, got recharged and we figured let's not push our luck and headed toward home. But not wanting to end the trip on a sour note - and a six hour drive to get nowhere - and it being nearly my birthday and all, we decided to stop in the Berkshires for supper. It WAS a lovely (and expensive) sushi dinner at the world-famous Bizen and when we got back to the RV, well, the battery is dead again. So here we are at what John refers to as "the church camp ground" since the parking lot seems to be attached to a church. And here we'll stay at least until we can get a jump in the morning - of course, not until we've had breakfast and a mosey through this lovely town because once we get started - WE WILL NOT BE STOPPING AGAIN.

Well, time to bunk down and get cozy for the night. It IS a lovely parking lot.

I'll keep you posted,
Eve

Roadkill

We stopped at a service area on the NY State Thruway and that seemed to be our fatal mistake because we can't start the RV again. The alum-a-womb is DEAD. Maybe it's the battery. Maybe the alternator. Maybe borrowing a 24 year old motorhome from a guy who says "oh, don't worry about the smoke" was not such a wise thing to do. John just called for roadside assistance and now we're waiting for the verdict. Funny, but it's just not that much fun anymore. We're supposed to spend two more days in the Adirondacks before heading home. But I'm thinking when/if we get the RV going again, we should NOT pass go and NOT stop until we are home.

Besides, I'm out of clean undies.

I'll keep you posted,
Eve

In the Wi-Fi Wilderness

HELP! John has dragged us off into the woods for his kind of vacation. That means we are staying at a state park campground without all of the amenities. Okay, it is beautiful and right on the shores of a lovely Finger Lake and you can fish and swim and watch the birds. But it has no miniature golf, no arcade, no swimming pool and worst of all, no Wi-Fi! But we rode bikes into nearby Seneca Falls and the nearest Wi-Fi hotspot. (Oh, also it's the home of the Women's Hall of Fame which is way cool and has all MY people (I was a Women's Studies minor, after all.) I got all verklempt reading about all these amazing women. Okay, I cried ... just a little.) Sierra was NOT impressed, but that's okay. See, she can take all this stuff for granted, in large part because of the mighty women lining the walls of the Hall of Fame.

Anyway, before we get hauled back off into the Wi-Fi-less wildnerness I have got to tell you about yesterday's visit to (okay, get ready for this) the Jell-O Museum. Yeah, you read that right. And I was afraid I hadn't, but the billboard on the NYState Thruway promised that it was just five miles off exit 41, just 13 miles away from Brockport. I know, I almost couldn't believe it. I mean my younger brother, Josh, spent at least four years at SUNY Brockport and never once mentioned his proximity to the Jell-O Museum. Could it be that he missed this jewel of Americanan kitsch? You might be surprised to hear that the rest of the family was not as excited about this as I was. But hell, they had already stopped me from getting my picture taken with Abraham Lincoln (Indiana), kept me from Carhenge (Nebraska) and weren't even remotely interested in tracking down the world's biggest ball of string. Whiners be damned! We WERE going to see America's foremost tribute to all things Jell-O!

We almost turned back once we got there and found the entrance fee was $4 per person. After all, we had already taken a picture of the bronze plaque outside which commemorates Jell-O employees who served in WWII (I'm not sure if they served by actually serving Jell-O). Wasn't that enough? But boy am I glad we paid (the now tax deductible) entrance fee. Who knew there was that much to know about Jell-O? Certainly our tourguide, Ruthie did. She was a veritable font of Jell-O factoids (although she seemed to be lacking in humor, which one would think would be a job requirement. But Jell-O is a serious business in LeRoy, NY!). Anyway, here's a little gelatine tid-bit for my in-laws: the Jell-O recipe was invented by one Pearl Bixby Wait - and there is some discrepency over whether his name was actually spelled Waite. Folks, we could be related to the genius who discovered that the connective tissue of bovines and swine (that whole thing about horses' hooves is apparently nasty rumor) could be made into a delicious food-like dessert! (Fear not my Jewish readers, Ruthie informed us that there is Jell-O available that "meets the dietary restrictions of those of the Jewish faith!")

Alls I'm saying is I can rest a bit easier now. Whatever becomes of my writing career, the Wait(e) name has already been ensured a place in history. (It may, however, dissolve in boiling water!)
Well, back to the woods now.

I'll keep you posted,
Eve